Bye Bud.

When I was around 6 I started to want a cat of my own so bad. My parents told me that when our current cat (who was getting pretty old) died, I could have a kitten of my own. After a couple of years of this, with Cinder not slowing down, my parents decided to get me a kitten. For Christmas when I was in third grade, I got one. She was so little and orange and white, so I named her Butterscotch, which eventually got shortened to Bud.

Bud was the perfect cat for me- she loved to just cuddle and purr. Bud would always try to get under the blankets at night time (which was AWESOME in the winter when I needed a little extra warmth). Bud could read my moods and whenever she heard me crying, or just heard my voice upset, she would come running and get as close to me as possible, on my lap or rubbing my legs.

One of the worst things about going away to school and then moving here to Maryland, was leaving my kitties. I felt like I was abandoning them and that they wouldn't understand why I just left them all of a sudden. I always hoped to bring Bud with me whenever I moved out, but by last year when I did, she was just too old to make the car or plane ride. She would be confused as to where she was and she would just plain miss the other kitties.

This past summer, she got grouchier and grumpier, and eventually in the last couple of months, she stopped getting out of bed and was having various health issues. Today, my parents decided it was the right time for her to be put to sleep.

I hate that I wasn't there to say goodbye and that the last I saw her, she wasn't really sick at all- it makes me feel like she was put to sleep while nothing was wrong with her. Of course I know my parents wouldn't do that and she must have not been well at all, but I still feel like I abandoned her. I had a terrible day at work and I just want to crawl into my bed. :(

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