>> Wednesday, October 12, 2011 – Journey to Here
Pretty much as soon as we moved in my roommates became a HUGE downer. It was within the first week that they were out drinking and going to the frats and I was NOT cool with them coming back loud and drunk. They were messy and overall inconsiderate. By a month or so into the semester they had both gotten boyfriends.. who proceeded to literally move into our room- they kept there clothes there and everything. This made 5 (FIVE!) people living in what was originally a double dorm room. I would make the whopping 10 minute drive home every weekend to stay at my parents’ house, just so I could leave that place.
In addition to being run out of my own dorm room, I was having boyfriend issues. We had been dating since 10th grade- 3 years at that point. There was nothing really wrong with the relationship.. I just kept feeling like it wasn’t right anymore. Halloween weekend I broke up with him.
Enter a major period of depression for me. I hated my roommates (and the school would not let me move off campus back to my parents’ house for the second semester), I was no longer dating someone that I had been with for 3 years and saw a long term future with, and my school work was not interesting at all. I was putting in, on average between class time and working time after hours, 14 hours a day at the studio doing stuff I didn’t care at all about. I wasn’t making friends – there was pretty much two categories of people that I ran into – wicked nerds that played video games and the people in frats or sororities.
I remember sitting in church that fall/early winter at a Thursday service that I had gone to and just being so choked up, trying not to cry. On one occasion I was crying so loud in the shower that a girl on the other side of the suite came to me after and asked if I was okay. Everything that I had been planning for years and years was falling apart in front of me, was nothing like what I had expected and there was nothing I could do about it.